Kicked out

It's actually quite at Bean's right now which never happens. Not enough beanie volunteers which has been happening quite a lot so all the Beanies get kicked out until one of them decides to step up and volunteer. Also you can tell when it's really nice outside because no one comes in which is ok with me. Beanies are quite annoying. Intellectually I know that I shouldn't be annoyed at them but I am every day. Tick tock more annoying questions, annoying requesting, or just being a pain in the butt. Does it sound like I am burnt out? Well maybe or it's time for a new job. I think some people are made for this type of job and I think that I am not. I don't like that I see hundreds of people every day. I want to work for a smaller organization that actually helps people and not just keeps them alive. I am not saying this job doesn't need to be done oh it does I am just ready to pass it on to the next batch of JV's.

Well lets see I have not been updating as you can see. I don't know if I am busy or just lost in my head probably a little of both. I hate the ups and downs of being happy, bored, or just in a slump. I am really excited to find a new job, one that maybe isn't so boring sometimes. I hope that every job isn't like this, fun at first and hella boring towards the end. Anyway I am going to stop complaining.

Lets talk about Juneau instead. Juneau was amazing. There were actually some really nice days and a lot of music. Now after listening to folk music all weekend long I think I realized I may not be the biggest fan. Sure I like it but it's not something I would seek out. Some musicians were really good so I guess it depends on the type. I wish I had the energy to go into more detail but I don't. My energy is lacking lately but I think the amazing weather might just be what I need. But a short summary of events at folk fest. We danced a lot, drank some amazing beer, went on a brewery tour where they gave out all the free samples you wanted, one take it to the dawn night where we walked home with daylight fast approaching and birds singing and lots and lots of free music. Oh and the Alaska hotel where everyone went after the music stopped and there were musicians everywhere because that is where they stayed. All the rooms were opened with people jamming in the rooms, in the laundry rooms and people everywhere listening to the tunes. It was an interesting night to say the least.

On a side note when calling for day labor at a homeless day shelter do not call at 4 and expect to find a worker. Because homeless people don't wait around for a job that late because they are probably already drunk or out enjoying the nice weather. In fact don't get angry at me because I can't find anyone and secondly don't offer to give them beer. How stupid do you have to be? These people are addicted to alcohol and yes they are going to use the money you just paid them to go buy it but please do not try and make the process any easier. Alright I think I need to be nicer to the beanies I understand the whole mental illness, hard childhood, substance abuse, growing up in two cultures crap, eh I mean valid reasons. But I don't really care anymore I want to be mad at them because there is no one else to be mad at. I just want to shake them and be like look at yourself and look at your pointless life and do something with it. Stop wasting resources and actually get your life in order. I wish it was that easy, I wish things could change, i wish I had more patience, I wish I could take a nap.

Last night I was watching a movie about the Holocaust. And then boom Abbie one of my roommates came in and announced she was going to Kincaid Beach. This was about 9. So I decided to join and we drove to the beach with a few beers and some other rommies. It was splendid, sitting on the beach as the sun was setting and the wind blowing. The beach is my favorite place in Anchorage. It's secluded and feels nothing like the city. I wish I could go back to that feeling of peacefulness and serenity and not be always pissed off at the beanies. Because I know they can tell that I don't like them that much and that sucks for them. I know they deserve someone in their lives that cares but I don't think it can be. I just don't think I have the energy. I really am not that down and out as I sound here. I am pretty happy most of the time I swear.