Again

I fail to write once a week. I've been meaning to write something since Tuesday but I really feel like I have nothing to say. The last two weeks have been a blur, I go to work, I go to the gym sometimes, I go home and I go to bed at 9 and get up at 6 and the cycle starts all over again.

On Monday and Tuesday we had a two day bonanza with the community. We were supposed to do one on one's with the whole community over the two days and answer questions like "What is working in our relationship?", "How can we challenge ourselves more in this relationship?", and many others that were supposed to help us grow in our individual relationships. The premise was great but I really didn't get anything out of it. We had a closing circle at the end of the two days and many were saying how helpful this was and how they felt the doors of communication open in some relationships and I just felt tired and exhausted. For the most part I think my relationships in community are pretty great. Of course there might be some things that could be better but I have no idea how to change that. I'm as close to the people in this community as I am to any of my other friends for the most part. And then I had an epiphany. I don't know how to make friends. I either make friends in community or I date people outside of community. Community forces me to kinda have friends, I have to see these people day after day and opening up is kinda a requirement. But then when I meet people outside of community, I either don't put the effort needed in order for it to become a friendship or I end up dating them which is also kinda a forced environment where I have to open up. So that's what I came up with after the two days, and now I'm in a funk.