Just another day

So just another day at Bean's. Today we lost our fourth client in three days. I think it's mostly the weather, it's the coldest stretch of weather in 10 years I've been told. But today was the hardest loss, her name was Karen and she was one of the nicest clients. She didn't come in every day but when she did she had the biggest smile on her face. It's hard to believe that these people will never walk through our doors again.

Today I got a call from someone telling me where one of the services will be for one of the people that died this week. I was trying to figure out where it was being held when he went off about how we work for social services and we should know where this place is. True I guess to an extent, but then he continued on about how this guy came in complaining of chest pain and all we did was give him TUMS when we should have called 911. So what eventually happened with the guy was that he left Beans and had a massive heart attack and died. Now I know that this caller was probably just angry because all of his friends are dying, but I was tired of it so I fought back. I told him I wasn't responsible for all the homeless people and that they were adults. I have no medical training and I'm not about to call 911 for all people that have chest pain. We went back and forth for a little bit and he finally told me that I should get another job. I understand that I should have been nice but I'm not going to be blamed for this guy dying. It's hard because I remember giving him the TUMS that day and I remember thinking he looked really bad but everyone looks like crap because they are drinking their lives away. This job has made me more critical of homeless people than sympathetic. Because frankly more than half of the people I see aren't really trying to get of the streets. Yes most are addicted to something or have a mental illness so yea they deserve a break and some help but I believe in empowering people and I don't know if I'm really doing that here.

Plus it's so cold that the pipes froze and burst so we haven't had water here at Bean's for two days. The fire alarm system isn't working so someone has to be here at all times making sure there's not a fire. So the staff has been working around the clock. It feels tense here at work, I feel like it's a waiting game to see who goes next. But I am lucky because I get to leave at the end of the day. I feel guilty sometimes because I know that I can do this for a year and just leave. Leave it all behind, go running in the garden with a fresh breeze and hopefully lots of sunshine.