Phone Book

I entered the wonderful world of blogs a few weeks ago and I am hooked. I love reading into people's lives and entering their reality. But I must admit that it's a bit intimidating, I cannot write the quirky and funny entries that I have come to love. Thus I have decided to let all expectations evaporate and write what I want because I can.

Right now I sit here with a yellow phone book on the desk next to me. My job is to call as many churches as I care to and ask if they want to help participate in the Beanie Box drive. Beanie boxes are these shoe boxes that are gift wrapped and inside are all the essentials like hats, gloves, toothpaste etc. These boxes will be handed out the week of Christmas to our clients, primarily homeless and other varying degrees of homelessness. But instead I feel an urge to write and escape this place. I feel like most of the day I spend escaping and thinking about the future or things I would rather be doing, rather pointless thoughts because the only thing that is for certain is that I am sitting here in a cold office at a homeless day shelter with a tattered yellow phone book on the desk.

Some would conclude that I hate my job because why would I spend the day escaping this reality, but on the contrary I love this job. I like the randimosity of it and yes I know thats not a word but I feel that it should be. I like that I don't have a set schedule, that I can take time out and talk to people and joke and be sarcastic. Yes for the most part I like the job...and yet my mind wanders. This evening I will going to Taize prayer, something I loved doing while in college. I know that in the back of my head I have this hope that this will solve everything. I will have an epiphany of why I am searching for more and trying to fill all my free time so I have less time to think. But I also know that this will not happen, yes I will enjoy it but the epiphany will not come and yet that is ok because hey if that happened then there would be no blog and life would become quite boring. And yet here I have to return to my yellow phone book and the reality of beanie boxes.